⚠️ CAUTION! May cause discomfort in the overly literal.
This shirt does what you don’t have the energy to do: warn people. Bold red “CAUTION!” up top, followed by the painfully honest label:
“Contains heavy sarcasm.”
Because let’s face it — if they don’t get the joke, they were never your people.
Crafted from ultra-soft 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton, this unisex tee is lightweight, breathable, and blessedly non-toxic (unlike your ex). Perfect for social situations you didn’t consent to, awkward family dinners, or just scaring off overly chipper coworkers.
Wear it when:
😏You want your shirt to speak louder than your deadpan voice
😏You’re tired of explaining that you were kidding
😏You want sarcasm treated as a personality trait (because it is)
This tee doesn’t just say something — it warns them.
🔧 Care Instructions (for maximum sarcasm retention):
🔧Machine wash: cold (max 30°C / 90°F) – keep it chill
🔧Non-chlorine bleach only – unless you're feeling dramatic
🔧Tumble dry: low heat – let your sarcasm simmer
🔧Iron, steam, or dry: medium heat – optional, like your patience
🔧Do not dry clean – we don’t do extra effort here
| |
XS |
S |
M |
L |
XL |
2XL |
3XL |
4XL |
5XL |
| Width, in |
16.50 |
18.00 |
20.00 |
22.00 |
24.00 |
26.00 |
28.00 |
30.00 |
32.00 |
| Length, in |
27.00 |
28.00 |
29.00 |
30.00 |
31.00 |
32.00 |
33.00 |
34.00 |
35.00 |
| Sleeve length, in |
8.60 |
8.90 |
9.20 |
9.50 |
9.70 |
10.00 |
10.40 |
10.80 |
11.20 |
| Size tolerance, in |
1.50 |
1.50 |
1.50 |
1.50 |
1.50 |
1.50 |
1.50 |
1.50 |
1.50 |
