Why pay for coping skills when you have cynicism and a dark sense of humor?
“Cynicism is cheaper than therapy” isn’t just a slogan — it’s your entire emotional strategy, screen-printed on 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton. This unisex tee is soft, breathable, and perfectly suited for silently judging the world while pretending you're "fine."
Wear it when:
😏Your therapist ghosts you, but your sarcasm doesn’t
😏You're emotionally unavailable but fiscally responsible
😏You want people to stop asking “how are you?” — and start backing away slowly
Because healing is expensive, but deadpan is free.
🔧 Care Instructions (like self-care, but doable):
🔧Machine wash: cold (max 30°C / 90°F) – keep it numb
🔧Non-chlorine bleach only – don't overdo it
🔧Tumble dry: low heat – like your enthusiasm
🔧Iron, steam, or dry: medium heat – optional, like hope
🔧Do not dry clean – therapy is enough of a luxury
| |
XS |
S |
M |
L |
XL |
2XL |
3XL |
4XL |
5XL |
| Width, in |
16.50 |
18.00 |
20.00 |
22.00 |
24.00 |
26.00 |
28.00 |
30.00 |
32.00 |
| Length, in |
27.00 |
28.00 |
29.00 |
30.00 |
31.00 |
32.00 |
33.00 |
34.00 |
35.00 |
| Sleeve length, in |
8.60 |
8.90 |
9.20 |
9.50 |
9.70 |
10.00 |
10.40 |
10.80 |
11.20 |
| Size tolerance, in |
1.50 |
1.50 |
1.50 |
1.50 |
1.50 |
1.50 |
1.50 |
1.50 |
1.50 |
